Surviving Chaos

Topic: Write some basic things about yourself.

Warning: For this challenge I didn’t hold back. I’m striving towards being able to express myself with vulnerability and complete honesty in my writing so I can create a freedom in my writings. This entry didn’t hold anything back. Consider yourself warned.

My name is Chris Humby. I’m named after my mother’s favorite childhood character, Christopher Robin. My middle name is not Robin because my father thought it was too “girly” of a name. I am 45 years old, have lived in four different states, and attended 2 different colleges.

Though I have lived in a large city I count myself more as a country boy. I love the access to all the activities you find in a city, but dread the congestion and claustrophobia a city breeds. I love mountains and would love to have a cabin in the mountains someday.

I have 6 beautiful children which are all unique in their own right. I am proud of each of them and the passion they approach life with.

I married my best friend. She has loved me unconditionally for the last 23 years. She has graciously lived up to her promises to love me through good and bad, rich and poor, sickness and health. She is an amazing mother, friend, lover, and partner. I am blessed more each day because of her.

I have never been “that guy” when it comes to sports. I’ve never been amazingly talented and that caused me to shirk away from getting better. I enjoy watching sports more for the interaction with the crowd. I’ve always enjoyed the energy I can gain from the presence of other people.

I hate stupid people. Not because I hate people, but because some people act stupid. I hate thinking for people primarily because I’m constantly thinking and I find it irritating and distracting when I have to turn my attention to others and think for them. It’s not that I want things done my way or that I demand perfection. It’s more that I see things through different lenses than others. I see a bigger picture; how events and actions effect other people and when I have to stop and think for someone else it means I’m not thinking through the millions of other options and situations that are present so the best and next step can be taken.

I don’t consider myself religious. Religion is based on fear of consequences . I am aware of the consequences for my actions, both positive and negative, and I certainly fear a higher power than myself. But I believe that the higher power guiding my life is more interested in connecting with me beyond fear. My God is willing to walk with me, to talk with me, to defend and fight for me. He already paid the price for me to experience true freedom and forgiveness through the death and sacrifice of his own. His connection to me, and in turn humanity, is less about fear of consequences and more about fear of missing out on the greatest gift; an undying, never ending relationship with the creator of the universe.

My heart breaks when I hear people say they are Christians yet make the relationship all about themselves. My heart aches when I hear people say God could never love them when he’s proved over and over that unnoticed love. My heart shutters when people deny the one who wants gave everything so they could experience true freedom in their lives.

I’m not a religious man. I am a man seeking the strongest, deepest, healthiest relationship with the very owner and creator of the universe. And if I’m wrong, I lose nothing. And if I’m right, I gain everything. The odds are always in my favor.